


Shipper on Deck

by hooliganism



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Dorian loves to meddle, F/M, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Gen, Humor, i never do anything serious, of course it's humor, the gang's all here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-21
Updated: 2015-05-09
Packaged: 2018-03-14 00:42:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3402173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hooliganism/pseuds/hooliganism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dorian knows that Trevelyan and Cullen are meant for each other; unfortunately, no one else does. Matchmaking hijinks ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dorian tapped an ornate gavel lightly against the top of his desk to quiet the gathered group of Inquisition members gathered in his quarters. "The meeting has come to order," he said smoothly. "Is there any new business?"

He received blank stares. Dorian sighed dramatically (which was the only way he ever did anything). "None of you would last a day in the Imperium," he lamented.

"Dorian?" Josephine asked. "Why are we here?"

"At two in the morning, no less," Cassandra snapped. She was half-clad in her mail and sleep clothes, because when Dorian said it was important, she thought she was going have to kill something. At the moment, killing Dorian seemed very appealing.

"We are here," Dorian stated grandly, "to discuss the urgent matter of what is happening between Commander Rutherford and our dear Inquisitor."

Apparently, there were actual crickets in Dorian's bedchambers, because in the silence he could hear them chirp. Crickets were everywhere in the south. Dorian found them highly annoying.

"...But there's nothing going on between Cullen and the boss," Iron Bull said finally.

"Exactly!" Dorian trumpeted. "They're absolutely meant for each other, but are too thick to see it! We simply must help them along!"

Leliana and Josephine perked up slightly at the prospect of meddling. 

"What, we're gonna get the two of 'em into bed?" Sera asked. At Dorian's solemn nod, she whooped.

"Do you really believe that the most important thing at the moment is to meddle with Commander Cullen and the Inquisitor?" Solas barked. "More important than say, defeating the Elder One?"

"Take it easy, Chuckles." Varric was furiously taking notes. "The Inquisitor could do with a little fun."

"This is hardly the time for fun, darlings," Vivienne raised her perfect eyebrows. "I hate to agree with the apostate, but surely there are more pressing matters to attend to."

"We wander in our conversation," Dorian chided. "We must make the Commander and the Inquisitor see that they're just meant to be. It's too adorable to not happen." 

Josephine nodded in agreement. "Cullen is a bit enamored of the Inquisitor..."

"My network will easily be able to find the Inquisitor's feelings for Cullen," Leliana stated.

"Oh, my fair lady!" Dorian exclaimed. "Please do not trouble yourself, Lady Leliana. I believe your spies might be more efficient in... other areas of interest. And between the eleven of us assembled-"

"I will have no part in your silly matchmaking," Solas got up and left.

"Ten of us assembled, then." Dorian amended. "The Commander and the Inquisitor will be madly in love in no time."


	2. Step 1: Get Trevelyan thinking about romance.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian sets his plan in motion.

Dorian struck early in the morning, before the Inquisitor had her morning tea and was not quite coherent. "Ah, my lovely lady Inquisitor! How are you this fine morning?" He chirped.

She eyed him warily. "Hi, Dorian." Trevelyan started boiling water on the wood-burning stove in the communal kitchen.

“My dear, I must tell you, I am feeling excellent lately! I must ascribe it to my felicitous relationship with the Iron Bull!” Leliana, who was keeping a covert eye on the operation, thought he was laying it on a bit thick, but then again, Dorian thought that anything worth doing was worth doing dramatically. “Have you ever been in love, Inquisitor?” he continued.

“Not-”

“You absolutely must try it sometime, Lady Trev. It’s simply wonderful!”

Trevelyan poured the now-boiling water into a clay cup and added dried tea leaves from Skyhold’s gardens. “Well, I’m happy for you and Bull, Dorian, but I don’t really have time for that stuff. Busy leading the Inquisition and all that.”

“But surely after the darkspawn Corypheus is dealt with, you’ll have more time for pleasure. In the Imperium we say, ‘all work and no play makes for boring dinner conversation.’”

“You also said that two virgins in the same bed is two too many virgins,” Trevelyan raised her eyebrows as she sipped her tea.

“That is also a saying among my people,” Dorian smiled. “But surely the lovely Inquisitor, the fame of whose beauty has spread throughout Thedas, would not have that particular problem.”

“Not discussing this with you. Too early in the morning for anything but tea,” Trevelyan grumbled and shuffled off, Dorian presumed, to do something official.

He would count that as a win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tiny update is better than no update :)


	3. step 2: scope out Cullen's feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NO REGRETS

STEP TWO: SCOPE OUT CULLEN’S FEELINGS.

 

“Cullen, how ya been?” Varric asked amiably, striding uninvited into the Commander’s office.

 

Cullen looked down from his paperwork. “Hello, Varric. Can I help you?”

 

“You can, actually.” He took a seat without being invited. “See, I’m writing a new novel- you know, a real sequel to Hard in Hightown to kind of combat that terrible phony sequel going around, and I am definitely thinking more of a political angle on it- and I wanted to ask you something.”

 

Cullen was never a man to read for pleasure. “I suppose you could ask,” he said guardedly.

 

“What do you think of someone like the Inquisitor for the lead character?”

 

Cullen was caught a little off guard (as Varric was hoping) and answered honestly. “She’s already the hero of this story; what’s another?”

 

“Hmm.” Varric whipped a notepad out of nowhere and began scribbling furiously. “So I am definitely thinking of a political angle on this, and the villain should be someone ambitious, you know? Someone who can really give an Inquisitor analogue a run for her fictional coppers. Cunning… hmm… The Inquisitor kind of comes off as a humble type of girl, yeah? Someone who really contrasts that… I’ve got it!”

 

Cullen could only stare in confusion and mild horror at whatever notion Varric had come up with. “You’ve got what?”

 

“I’ll model the villain after Vivienne!”

 

Cullen laughed despite himself. “She’d love that.”

 

“And she makes a nice contrast to Trev. She’s fashionable and elegant-”

 

“Are you saying that Lady Trevelyan is not either of those things?” Cullen asked Varric, his tone slightly dangerous. Interesting, Varric thought, and wrote that down.

 

“Of course not,” Varric lied. “Trev has her own sense of style, but you have got to admit, Vivienne always takes that kind of fashion thing more seriously than, say, fighting ancient darkspawn magisters.”

 

Cullen nodded slightly, reassured that Varric was not affronting the Lady Inquisitor’s honor. Varric made his excuses and ran off to report this new finding to Dorian.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> this is one of those things that sounded like a good idea at two in the morning and still doesn't sound like a bad idea so here it is. Also Matchmaking! Dorian was too cute to pass up. Let me know if you like it, and any mischievous ideas for forcing Trev and Cullen to 'realize' their 'feelings'. :)


End file.
